I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General Songtext

von The D'Oyly Carte Opera Company

I am the very model of a modern Major-General
I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral
I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights
Historical
From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical

I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters
Mathematical
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical
About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news
With many cheerful facts about the square of the
Hypotenuse

With many cheerful facts about the square of the
Hypotenuse
With many cheerful facts about the square of the
Hypotenuse
With many cheerful facts about the square of the
Hypotepotenuse

I'm very good at integral and differential calculus
I know the scientific names of beings animalculous
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Major-General

In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
He is the very model of a modern Major-General

I know our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir
Caradoc's
I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for
Paradox
I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus
In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous

I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and
Zoffanies
I know the croaking chorus from the Frogs of
Aristophanes
Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's
Din afore
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense
Pinafore

And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense

Pinafore
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense
Pinafore
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense
Pinapinafore

Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform
And tell you ev'ry detail of Caractacus's uniform
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Major-General

In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
He is the very model of a modern Major-General

In fact, when I know what is meant by "mamelon" and
"ravelin"
When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle from a javelin
When such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more
Wary at
And when I know precisely what is meant by
"commissariat"

When I have learnt what progress has been made in
Modern gunnery
When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery
In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy
You'll say a better Major-General had never sat a gee

You'll say a better Major-General had never sat a gee
You'll say a better Major-General had never sat a gee
You'll say a better Major-General had never sat a sat a
Gee

For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and
Adventury
Has only been brought down to the beginning of the
Century
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Major-General

But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
He is the very model of a modern Major-General