Press Conference Songtext

von Chris Rock

Hello Ladies and Gentlemen
I'm Hally Neilson from BTT Television
And tonight is the night we've all waited for
Tonight, I bring you
My exclusive interview with OJ Simpson
And as an added bonus guest
Good friend of his Ike Turner has come to join him
Now let's start

OJ, can you tell everyone where your from?
Straight Outta Compton (Straight Outta Compton - NWA)

And when you got rich where did you move?
Straight Outta Compton (Straight Outta Compton - NWA)

Ike, where are you from?
Brooklyn Zoo (Ol' Dirty Bastard - Brooklyn Zoo)

Now Ike it seems that OJ has stolen alot of your thunder
With the domestic violence issue
How do you rate yourself?
I'm the King (Hit It Run - Run DMC)

Now OJ I know your in therapy but
When was the last time you actually hit Nicole?
1989 (Fight the Power - Public Enemy)

And what did she say?
Whoo ha, Whoo ha (Whoo Ha - Busta Rhymes)

OJ, what first attracted you to Nicole?
I like big butts and I cannot lie (Baby Got Back - Sir Mix a Lot)

What was she wearing?
Pumps and a bump, pumps and a bump, we like the girls with the pumps and a bump (Pumps and a Bump - MC Hammer)

Now OJ, this is the question all my viewers want an answer to
OJ, why did you run?
Murder was the case that they gave me (Murder Was the Case - Snoop Doggy Dogg)

So your in the back of the Bronco
Gun to your head
Just my own curiosity but what was AC saying?
Don't, don't, don't, don't (Don't Believe the Hype - Public Enemy)

Now OJ of course you know that alot of people are upset that you're a free man
What about Haraldo, what do you have to say to Haraldo?
I'm gonna knock you out, mama said knock you out (Mama Said Knock You Out - LL Cool J)

And what about Nicole
Do you still think about Nicole?
When I'm alone in my room Sometimes I stare at the wall And in the back of my mind I hear my conscious call (I Need Love - LL Cool J)

Now, if you'll excuse me OJ
Let's just move to Ike for a moment

Now when you married Tina
And you delivered your vows
Certainly you said something I'm sure that was wonderful and loving and beautiful
What are some of the things that you said?
I keep my foot in your ass and wouldn't give a fuck Get out her pocket, bitch you gettin' beat up (All My Bitches Are Gone - Too Short)

Now certainly Ike you can't be all bad
What was your childhood like?
I used to have alot of bitches (All My Bitches Are Gone - Too Short)

Now OJ there was a mountain of evidence against you
Including a footprint
What kind of shoes were you wearing?
My Adidas (My Adidas - Run DMC)

Now Johnnie Cochran of course we know that he came up with the wacky little slogan
"If it doesn't fit, you must acquit"
Now are there any other silly slogans that he brought to your attention?
Too legit, too legit to quit (Too Legit To Quit - MC Hammer)

Now how do you feel about the LAPD?
Fuck the police (Fuck the Police - NWA)

Now what was the most
Polite thing that Mark Fuhrman ever said to you?
Nigger Nigger Nigger Nigger Nigger Nigger, please (Niggaz 4 Life -NWA)

Now OJ, certainly you never took the stand
But had you taken the stand
What would you have said?
Give me something you can't understand Or I can just kill a man (How I Could Just Kill a Man - Cypress Hill)

Did you just admit to the crime?
Don't quote me boy, cuz I ain't sayin shit (Boyz-N-the-Hood - Eazy E)

Now OJ, Ike were about to wrap this up right here
Do you have any last words?

See you at the crossroads, crossroads, crossroads (repeated until end) (Crossroad - Bone Thugs N Harmony)